Sun in Pisces: Dissolving

Fish-headYesterday the Sun moved into Pisces. I have been feeling the Pisces energy for some time as Neptune, Chiron, Mars and Mercury are already swimming through these intuitive waters. The Sun is ready to be carried down the river, floating into the timeless ocean.

In Aquarius there was a sense of being outside of the world, watching and seeing the new come together. This was a new Earth unrelated to the familiar structures that mark out the boundaries of what has been known and mastered.  The reality of the old had no hold on my attention. Remnants of the past slipped away as I  focussed on how things could be and how I trust they are, if I could just release my attachments to what has always been. Alone like the fool it is easy to occupy this transcendent realm. Happy and unconcerned whether others see what is hidden in the shimmery dominion of the faerie. I have felt cool and unattached as the universe does its rearranging, allowing it to be.

Still there were jagged vibrations and barely understood suggestions that caused an underlying anxiety. I have spoken of the unsureness of footing as I could not determine quite where the ground lay. My feet seemed so far away as I occupied celestial realms. I was Alice in her Wonderland trying to understand the new physics and my body became foreign and unreliable. Wounds festered, and what was solid seemed to dissolve. Daily there seemed to be body parts going through strange transitions. I felt as if I had committed toa distant world and my body hadn’t quite altered enough to walk in another dimension. All those planets in Pisces had pre-empted a chrysalis state and yet I was conscious as everything dissolved. Today as the Sun aligns, there is relief as I return to a feeling state. I am no longer a distant observer to my body but one with it. Calmly cocooned and feeling nurtured and cared for.

The eve of the Pisces ingress was unbearably hot. We sat outdoors, late into the night and watched the pregnant quarter moon set. Jupiter was dancing with her and as the night moved on, the Moon slowly consumed the golden planet, carrying it safely below the horizon. I was thrilled. I have never actually witnessed a conjunction in action.

Later asleep in my bed dissolving in a pool of perspiration, I was woken by a roaring noise. I felt the end had come and surely the poles were shifting, maybe a meteorite exploding overhead or at least the river had risen to wash us all away. I wished I had remained asleep, I didn’t want to be conscious during any such events.

Pisces likes to play with  illusions. Show us the anxieties that lay in the unconscious. Soon I realised the noise must have been rolling thunder as the heavens had opened and let loose a pounding fall of water. The lightning of Aquarius was greeting the deluge of Pisces as the gods changed their dominion over the planet. I am reminded of how the signs beyond Capricorn are strange fictional environments beyond the range of mere mortals. These belong to other creatures much closer to the heavens. I hopped out of bed and soaked my burning body in the rejuvenating waters that poured from the sky. Crazy with the excitement of lightning bolts, I paddled in the pond my garden had become.  I could feel the ground was grateful for replenishment after the searing heat.

As the Sun moves into Pisces, Saturn turns retrograde for the first time since it moved into Scorpio last October. It has been helping dismantle and transform the structures of life that we have always taken as solid. It has maintained our sanity right through the shift of the ages, maintaining the facade of the external environment in its familiar guise. Saturn turns retrograde, whilst we feel cocooned in our inner world and we have the opportunity to explore what is beyond its facade. We are in the year of the Snake and when the snake is ready to shed its old skin there is a period when he sees poorly, as scale caps cover his eyes. We are incubating in Pisces womb, with Saturn withdrawing its hold on the external and in a few days Mercury will turn retrograde and turn our mind inwards. All those bright possibilities we have witnessed from the mountaintop will now work themselves out in our dreams. We have committed to a new world and must slough off the old. As we shed the familiar, we remain like the Snake with tender skin. This is the time for allowing the waters to carry us gently, of gestating, and resting deeply in preparation for a new life.  When we reach the equinox, we will find ourselves birthed into a new world. Till then we need to sit with the life growing within us, allowing ourselves to be still, whilst we let angels renew and refresh us.

 

Image: Fish Head Illusion by Nick Kelly

Scorpio Solar Eclipse: Standing on the Brink

Sometimes I get asked where my writing comes from and how long I ponder it. There is a part of me whispering sweet thoughts and lovely words all the time. Composing their exquisite little explosions in my mind. Often this murmuring happens in that delicious state between sleep and waking. The schedule for my posts is set by the movements in the heavens. Sometimes my mortal self writes down the words and other times it makes breakfast and drives the daughter to public transport. My Mercury Retrograde post rode the bus into Hobart. Isn’t that just like Mercury?

This morning I lay in bed naked, spooning with my sleeping partner. Oh my! My back against his solid chest, my bottom comfortable in the seat he proffers, my thighs weightless against his, my calves hanging from his knees and my feet find rest on his footstools. Bliss! I think of giant stone pharaohs in the warm desert sun sitting on their thrones through the millenniums. Not such a bad fate.

There is nothing calling me to get up. I reflect over the last hectic month. It started with a Libra New Moon, I was happily making connections with others, enjoying being taken out of myself. As the Sun moved into Scorpio and the Moon grew full, the weather got wilder and life became an exhilarating ride. Scorpio likes to know it is alive and by living on the edge, knowing all could soon be finished, makes each breath exquisite. Libra connects us to others via relationships whilst Scorpio merges completely, not knowing where one begins or the other ends.

Mercury is now retrograde and retracing its steps over the path it has trodden since October the 18th and the Moon is waning into Darkness before it eclipses the Sun tomorrow. I find myself reviewing what I have merged with over the years, trying to unpick the seams to discover who I am now.

In Scorpio there is always a release of the redundant or the outgrown. There is much that is completing at this time, some stuff just has to go in order to move forward. Death, transformation, quantum shifts, evolutionary jumps; this is what is demanded of us. Trouble is that standing in this world we cannot grasp what lies ahead. We just have to jump and trust our instincts.

For me, everything is shifting. A week ago my daughter turned 18 and is now legally an adult, or in her words:

 I can legally sue someone, adopt a child, change my name, rent a port-a-potty, get a divorce, purchase R rated movies and go to jail. Oh and pubs.

My Scorpio Princess has become a Queen. She is now sitting her final exams and will be free to design her own life, here on in.

In Libra I was so happy being out in the world with others that I began to wonder whether I had satisfied the needs of my introverted self and was free to socialise with ease. Scorpio with its deep emotion disabused me of that notion. I had a period of feeling very space deprived as the moon was waning. I longed for time living alone. I realised that at this juncture with Kafka, all grown up and  our home on the market, anything was possible.

John and I entertained the possibility of living apart. We have been together for 34 years, maybe it is time to experience something else. It was amazing to discuss this so calmly. There was no rejection of what is, just consideration of what could be.

Somewhere within me this conversation was taboo. It was a boundary, an inner ring-pass-not. Magically, with this discussion, an inner space opened and I felt completely free. Together we were able to discuss our needs and yearnings more honestly, allowing more to be put on the table. We are unlikely to go our separate ways, still it is good to know that we can be open to anything.

The Sun, Moon and Saturn are currently in Scorpio. Saturn defines the limits of the reality we have agreed to accept in this incarnation. The Uranus square Pluto that defines our current time are urging us to break with pre-existent boundaries. I personally feel like I am standing at the edge of my current life ready to jump off the cliff. I have no idea what lies ahead but I am prepared to embark on the adventure.

Many feel this call for a new world. Tomorrow is the Scorpio New Moon. Normally, the Sun is so bright that the Moon is not visible when they are joined. The seed of the cycle is obscured till it is displayed at the full moon. This time there will be an eclipse where the Moon will overshadow the Sun. This will be visible over much of the east coast and top of Australia as well as across the Pacific to Chile. Whatever we birth tomorrow we are capable of seeing it for a moment when the Sun’s glare is obscured by our lunar satellite.

Mercury has regressed back to the Sagittarius/Scorpio cusp. It is possible that as we stand, hand in hand with the Sun, Moon and Saturn at the edge of the Scorpio abyss that Mercury can relay a message back from our future.

Meanwhile my present moment is exquisite. Gaia is resplendent all around me. My daughter, is still my beautiful daughter and this will never change. I lie in my lover’s arms. This is utopia, the New World is right here. Time may go on but the present is eternal.

Image: My Scorpio Princess, Kafka.

Aquarius Full Moon: Igniting the Future

On the day of the full moon I was out walking along the wide Huon River. The water was so still it had disappeared in the reflection of the sky. The dead trees drifting down from the forests upstream formed strange symbolic shapes with their reflection. I looked down from the bank and felt a part of an alien universe where all things fly through the landscape.

This was the perfect culmination point of my month, adrift in a new world after falling in love with my reflection. I took the advice of my New Moon post and took time out to form a sheath to protect my sensitivity. As I go back and reread the Cancer New Moon post I am amused that the image I chose to illustrate it is of a shelter made of driftwood at the water’s edge. Now at the Full Moon the universe chuckles as my shoreline cave has opened up to float in another dimension. I love the magic mirror of our world. It is constantly filled with messages of joy and reassurance from our awakened being to our somnambulant self.

I feel returned to me. I have been vigilant about what I engage with and whether it comes from a ‘should’ space or a ‘personal desire’ state. It has been important for me to get back to my own essence. I love Mercury retrograde times for they really allow me to stop focussing out there and just bathe in the delicious energy of being myself.

I have spent my time alone revising my values and reviewing my goals. This has been a wonderful experience of rediscovering what is important to me. Venus in Gemini has been trine Saturn in Libra and this energy has supported a personal time and motion study. I have been observing the structure of my days and measuring where my energy goes; keen to relinquish the automated tasks that provide little respite from anxiety. I seek to replace habit with more meaningful activities based on what is truly important to me.

Leo is the sign of the individual ready to step out from the shadow of the family and allow their unique individuality to shine brilliant talents into the world. My constant companion over this time has been Venus asking the question, “Does this activity come out of an appeasement to some external anxiety or does it arise from my passion to embrace life?”  I have been able to scan my body and note the holding points where tension hides and feel the thrill as I let the concern go. My being is flooded with relief and euphoria as I step into activities with a child’s pleasure. Each activity becomes a new and fresh adventure.

Life is fantabulous when lived like this. It requires a strange type of consciousness. I am reminded of Narcissus who saw his reflection in a pool and fell in love with it. He drowned. First, there is the awareness of who you are and then you lose yourself by becoming one with your reflection. No longer self-conscious, just being.

Now, at the Full Moon in Aquarius from high up on the banks of the river I see the strange shapes of a new world float by. I do not understand what this future world will be. I am aware of new possibilities being discovered every day. I have enjoyed listening to the wonderful ideas that are spreading through mediums like TED.  As each individual assumes the Leo crown of their divine purpose we are creating something totally new. I have great faith in the future of our shared humanity. The light in the child’s eyes may need external help to illuminate their gifts, however the gold of our destiny is within us all and I can feel the flames of awareness being ignited right across the planet.

 

 

Image: from The Little King and I