Cancer Full Moon: Connecting with my Tribe

129101345_full-moon-shines-through-mist-of-erupting-geyser-Today it was difficult to pull myself out of my slumber. I have been dreaming of friends from long ago and mixing them up with new friends barely arrived and imperceptibly claiming a place in my heart. It was delicious having all those bonds activated again. So many people made an appearance and the tone was of mutual respect, love, lots of laughter and a fair amount of celebration. No wonder I didn’t want to pull myself awake. These are Cancer Full Moon dreams, full of memories of my tribe. I am the White Wolf mama collecting together her clan, touching base, recognising heart connections – past, present and future.

It has been an amazing year for extending my clan. I feel so at home in my world now, wherever I am. I have had so many lovely people come into my life. Friendships that have sprung up outside of time and place through the marvels of this virtual medium. Flesh and blood relationships that create a sense of belonging in my community that I hadn’t felt in the decade before. I feel accepted by the young and the well lived, all ages and persuasions. This feels so good.

Once I felt like I only had enough love for a few people and reluctantly had to be selective about who I gave my affections to. I was terrified of not being able to fulfil another’s expectations. My biggest fear was to over-promise and under-deliver. Something has shifted now. Love is not a transaction where one has to give until the other is full up. It is something that flows through and out infinitely, leaving me feeling wonderful. There is enough for everyone to enjoy. We are all clear channels of love and that is what binds us. We prime the pump by learning to appreciate ourself and then a geyser of abundance bursts forth, for all to share.

This Moon cycle began in Sagittarius taking us on a wild and slippery road through the birthing portal of 12-12-12. It was here my stoical step by step, moment by moment journey finally let go and I have since been slipping and sliding on a wild and joyous ride. Sagittarius is about encountering foreign environments and counter-intuitively, for me, is situated in my third house of familiar environments. Since releasing my grip on the side of the pool I have encountered the unknown in my own neighbourhood: the Sweat Lodge, the Emergency Room, luxurious Gold Class at the cinema, even the Pine Grove on our property became a launching pad for otherworldly experience. As Sagittarius has taken me on a mind expanding ride showing me what is possible, the Sun moving into Capricorn has ensured I have remained securely connected to Mother Earth. I may be free as a child in the unlimited moment but Capricorn has shown me that one can still meet one’s responsibilities without holding grimly to the edge.

It appeared like Christmas would be cancelled for lack of finances and yet all came together to create the most relaxed and joyous celebrations ever. One of the highlights being opening some strange shaped presents from my daughter. There were hoots of laughter when we unwrapped two exquisite turnips, a cache of iridescent snow peas, two rudely healthy zucchini and a bouquet of broccoli she had acquired from a friend’s garden. True gifts from the heart of the earth combined with a cheeky imagination.

In my life I have always been competent and planned for every contingency. I have recognised that in being so adult I have often missed out on the wild-eyed miracles that the child experiences when some other magic steps in and takes care. This release has allowed me to trust that somehow everything will not only be okay, but will be exhilarating.

And what happens when the constant second-guessing to ensure everyone is okay is released? I am freed from the weariness of vigilance to be present to all the wondrous people I encounter. Cancer Moon allows me to feel and to visit everyone in my dreams and in my life. Gossamer threads keep us gently connected, always. Now I get time and play.

 

Image: Full Moon Shines Through Mist of Erupting Geyser by Jeff Foott

Sun in Capricorn: Rebirthing with Mother Earth

makidadaThat birth canal that I have been sliding down this last month has finally had a serendipitous conclusion. My good friend’s Lakota Sweat Lodge partner had reappeared from time overseas. How could I resist the offer of such a ceremony on the eve of the Capricorn Ingress and the much fabled 21-12 Portal? This was the first opportunity I have had to participate in this form of ceremony. My Taurus Moon reticence was masterfully overcome by my friend sidling up beside me and telling her stories and working through her own process. I felt no personal coercion. As she sorted through each point of organisation in her mind, a concern of mine would evaporate. Finally as our afternoon together drew to a close another friend asked whether I was going to participate. I checked within and found I had no reservations, just a resounding…Yes! All anxiety had been transmuted into excitement.

This point in itself was totally magical for me. My Capricorn friend and I have been entwined on a spiritual journey for several years now. She came in with Saturn transiting my Ascendant indicating a time of disciplined transformative work. I am sure the feeling has been mutual as my natal Saturn sits on her Ascendant.

Our temperaments and our style are very different and yet we held fast with the glue of mutual respect. I chaffed often yet, remarkably never fell prey to my normal pattern of just disappearing. At every point, we remained together with gentle patience. Her enthusiastic Sagittarian persona received an education in handling a stubborn, resistant and recalcitrant Taurus Moon. She has graduated with honours at this time. My moon felt so safe and nurtured that the decision was easy. I feel tears of gratitude at being honoured and seen as my human self felt totally free to make up my own mind in my own time.

Ho, mitakuye oyas’in, Susan Fullmoon-Rising.

Once committed to this process I felt such a whoosh of excitement. The only Taurus fear remaining was the earthy concern about managing my bodily functions throughout the extended period of the sweat. My stomach often participates in conversations at inopportune times and the fact that the home toilet became blocked was a sign this fear needed to be addressed. My Virgo Ascendant provided the most obvious way forward by cutting out the few toxins in my diet and concentrating on light pure foods. A detox headache over the period did little to dent my childish glee at the coming adventure. My christmas was coming early.

The universe threw a curve ball in the wee hours of the day of the Lodge. I was woken by a call from my daughter who had been randomly beaten by a stranger. She was however, being well cared for by her friends and had no desire to come home. They kept her awake in case of concussion till the morning and she slept throughout the day. She was due home at the same time as I was leaving for my Ceremony. We embraced in the street. She teasingly complained that she was returning to her mother’s arms only to be abandoned. We both understood that this was a momentous moment where she was releasing me from the personal bonds of motherhood to engage in a more transpersonal version of the same energy.

The Sweat Lodge was an amazing experience of entering the womb of the earth and releasing all of the past, then to be reborn again into her embrace with the moon and the sky delivering a rain of refreshment on my steaming body.

I woke for the Solstice, highly energised and have remained that way since. At the end of the day my daughter wasn’t feeling any better and decided that maybe she should see a doctor. No-one was available that late on a Friday in our isolated outpost at the end of the world. We travelled into the city to visit ER at the Royal Hobart Hospital.

This date had been 26,000 odd years in coming, an emergency waiting room was not the location I had planned. It may have been a great venue, Grand Central for the beginning of the Zombie Apocalypse but not where I expected to be for a download of other dimensional ascension energies.

Capricorn likes to keep us firmly connected to earthbound energy. The prior evening I had been contained within the earth sweating profusely in the dark for several hours. Now I was in the full glare of fluorescent lights, surrounded by people patiently nursing the private dramas that created whatever bodily affliction had bought them there. This trial lasted for six hours, taking us through the solstice point and into the new day and the new world. Capricorn was keeping me firmly situated in the accepted reality.

When we arrived the tone was set by two African girls, happily playing hand tag. I was delighted and jokingly said maybe we could follow suit and an impromptu flash mob could be created by our wounded compatriots. I wasn’t brave enough to manifest this fantasy. The idea did make light of our situation. My daughter and I felt a solidarity emerge from our shared experience. The longer the wait, the more absurd the situation, the more her curiosity was piqued and a stubborn persistence set in to stay the course and see where it led.

Our fellow patients were ennobled by their circumstances, each developing a dignity and beauty that sprung from the intensity of their situations. Compassion and silent camaraderie emerged from the humbling frailty of  human bodies. Pain was forgotten in the face of another’s suffering, the children in particular caused us to lose our personal concerns in a desire to offer respite. In this situation nothing further was to be done. In the release from effort, space was made for life to shine through.

We were in the outer chamber, waiting entry into an inner sanctum where some form of relief was expected. The Solstice point was passed in this place. We felt content with expanding hearts and continuously rising energy. I had always hoped to spend this time with my daughter and I suspect we would not have created a space as meaningful or joyous. Soon after the moment was marked we were finally accepted into a clinic area.

For several more hours we were able to enjoy the spectacle of medical staff in scrubs rushing around like ants, doing their best to administer to the injured. In our cubicle we had a little more privacy and were unable to contain our mirth at the surreal environment that we were all participating in. It has been a long, long time since I have giggled so uncontrollably for so long. Finally, my daughter was examined, declared to have a mild concussion, given a simple painkiller and dismissed.

This is Capricorn at its best, accepting the road of hardship and the problems that beset the journey but persisting through every step of the journey until finally at the top of the mountain, a vista of relief is revealed. At this point our goal has been achieved and one world flips into another. Capricorn can then revert to childlike joy. Pan likes playing his tricks.

It is done, we have arrived and life is good… I wish you all an exquisite holiday season.

 

Image: ‘Colour Purple’ Movie poster

 

Sagittarius New Moon: Mission Accomplished

imagesWhen the Gemini Moon was eclipsing the Sun, I felt the need to create a new vision for the future. It became apparent that this was to fill the need to be connected to something that would carry me on. I needed a lifeline to hold whilst riding the roller coaster that life had become. I felt like a drunk rolling home with only that slender thread to pull me through. The Scorpio Moon manifested as an energy vortex with an intense undertow. All that was no longer needed was being sucked away. Often I felt like I was on my belly  in the mud, holding on to that slender filament as I inched forward with sheer determination to stay the course. Finally, the fibre began to be pulled by wild horses through the eye of the needle that was the 12-12-12 portal.

As things were moving fast and at times the work was upside down the main focus for me was to surrender to the flow. Much of the time the ride was ecstatic with energy from some otherworldly source filling my body ever more consistently with fiery light. Still the more it did so the more grief would rise up from the dark depths of hell that has often been our experience of life on earth. That is where the Sagittarian faith has proved invaluable. The body became a contortionist, the face disfigured with rising stress yet the Sagittarius enthusiasm for a new world ensured one held fast to the gossamer thread pulling us all through the birthing canal into the next dimension.

While the Scorpio Moon cycle came to a close over the last week, we were in the thick of hay baling season on our property. As anyone who has experienced this season would know, the mercury is high on the thermometer and yet the race is on to get the hay in, before the heat is relieved by the inevitable build up of rain. This season had the added drama of the baler breaking down and the stop/start of trying to keep things on track over several days. Life was in slow motion and with each step the landscape was transfigured with its own crude crop circles.

One of my favourite comedic sequences is the opening of the Hitchcock parody, ‘High Anxiety.’ We follow Mel Brook’s character as he disembarks from a plane and makes his way through the airport. There is loud dramatic music and all sorts of covert and threatening activities going on around him. Finally, he exits and as the doors slide closed the music suddenly stops and there is silence. He pauses and exclaims, ‘What a dramatic airport!’

In the stillness between the 12-12-12 portal and the the exact time of the New Moon I watched as the door was closed on the hay shed and the last ute disappeared down the drive. Ahhh, it is done! Each year the land gets shorn of her flowing tresses, leaving the yellow stubble of summer on the fields. I get immense satisfaction knowing that horses will be surviving on this gift of sustenance from the freely forming grasses of mother earth.

How does it feel to have those doors close on the past, whilst waiting the few hours for the New moon to kick in? At first I just feel stunned, shell shocked. Nothing seems to have changed, my body felt worse if anything. Then the slow creep of something new…. relief…chillin’ was the word that kept coming to mind. Whew!…chillin’ now and it is quiet and delicious. I laughed when I visited the pages of my favourite, fellow astrological blogger, Gneiss Moon. In her lovely homage to Uranus to celebrate it moving direct, she uses one word, chillin’. I love that we are all connected, no matter where on the planet we reside. We tap into the same universal experience and use the same words and metaphors to communicate how we are doing.

As the Moon and the Sun aligned with each other in Sagittarius, I emerged from fog and was able to start defining with clarity what this new world may be. The last Scorpio cycle was such a prolonged period of honouring and saying goodbye to life as I have known it. Time became meaningless. Now the thread of vision I have clung to so fervently becomes something with which I can sew and create. With so much baggage released I am free to generate my heart’s desire. Together the Sun and the Moon set over the water and I sketched designs for a new life; content and inspired.

This morning as I wake I kept making circles in my mind. I am the centre and the circle forms around me. It reminds me of working with a horse. You hold a loose rope as the large beast circles around, responding to your commands. The horse, the human both connected, intently focussed on learning and executing new behaviours. Together they create a future. The Centaur has set his goal and is seeking its manifestation.

We have passed through our rebirthing in Scorpio. Sagittarius is future focussed. Uranus has been retrograde since July, filling us with visions of the new without any experience of external change. It has now turned direct and we can follow our revelations out into the world. Mercury has completed its journey over the terrain it retrograded through. It now takes its message into new territory. Nothing can stop us now, we have entered the future.

In my mind’s eye I took the compass and made more circles on the rim of the first with the edge dissecting the centre point and on and on until the whole Earth is covered with the flowers of life.

I know that we have all been intent on following our true essence through the swamps and quicksand of this past eon. We have finally made it through. All of us are creating from our centre. The planet is rejoicing as a crystalline matrix has been formed by the collective dreaming.

Woo hoo! ‘Shine on all you, Crazy Diamonds.’

 

 

Image: Crystal Light Matrix of Gaia

Film: I couldn’t find a clip for the opening sequence of High Anxiety. This is an excerpt of the dramatic airport and this is the trailer.

News: There is a lovely synchronicity as NASA publishes new images of the Earth lit up at night.