I give up. I let go of all resistance. Scorpio has bought me here and I release trying any more. It is no longer up to me. I turn myself over to allow some other vehicle to get me across the ravine. Nothing is appropriate anymore. I have gone beyond the bounds of my control. This is a foreign land and it seems I have no means to pay the ferryman.
I am reminded of the Carolyn Joyce Carty quote:
I love you and I would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering
when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you.
Something higher than my little self must take the reins now. I really do not know. Please guide me in this new land.
So what is my ‘Waterloo?’ The usual boogeyman. The cash coming in no longer covers the bills demanding payment. Our shuffling dance with a collapsing financial strategy is now exhausted.This is our time of reckoning. Our mortgage is due next week and as our options run out, our imagination takes a darker turn.
It is an anathema to me to talk about such realities on these pages. Sagittarius is about truth and it seems remiss to deny the practical realities of the moment. And yet what the Centaur seeks is something far away. The goal they pursue is not in the familiarity of everyday. With boundless enthusiasm they follow the unknown over all terrains, having faith that they will capture their target. Every day I don this wisdom and allow knowing to be revealed to me. I get regular assurance of this magic formula. It is in my nature to have faith in a utopian future. I believe in the good that resides within all those I meet, despite the trouble they may feel finding it for themselves.
Sagittarius is perceived as half human, half horse. We rely so much on the natural instincts of the animal to carry us to the promised land. It is up to that beast of burden to bear the load of everyday realities and to survive the journey. The human aspect urges us on, always believing in a better place.
Right now that our financial solutions are elusive, it is difficult to determine what the future holds. What we hoped to avoid, but feared, is here now. The animal appears paralysed in the glare of headlights. The bills cannot be paid by moths in the purse. It is surreal how the habitual self just expects everything to go on. As we use what is in the pantry, the items are transferred to the shopping list with full expectation that they will be replaced. I am reminded of when we kept horses; it always baffled me that Spring was the starvation season. All the fields are locked up for the green grass to transform into hay. If the planning has not covered unexpected emergencies, the winter stores are depleted and the horses start looking skeletal. Likewise, growing vegetable patches are not producing and the blossoming trees have not yet produced fruit. When the landscape appears the most abundant there is no food.
As the Sun leaves Scorpio, the sign of Death and enters Sagittarius, the sign of Unknown Lands, it trines Neptune in Pisces. Truly, all I seem to be able to do now is sleep. This is not quite accurate because when I arise from slumber, I feel amazing; cleansed and bubbling with energy. I have been infused with high spirits and appreciation for the moment. I am grateful for the ever present now which is full of the beauty of Gaia and the pleasure of gorgeous people. I have the soothing peace of a dog at my feet. I feel love profoundly. The lushness of Spring is reflected in my life. After a while fear of lack creeps in and once again I allow myself to float off into Neptune’s realm escaping Saturn’s boundary for a little time in respite care.
Sagittarius is part animal and right now I feel its primal call. I wish to fly away with the ravens that are all around me. They soar, majestically around my home and are still cawing in the town where I work. Even in the city I follow their flight across the facade of the buildings and watch them roost on the roof. The Raven is considered a shapeshifter carrying healing energy from distant lands. They represent the potent magic that lies in the void where all knowledge resides. This bestows on us a responsibility to walk in the light, maintaining our integrity and holding the highest intentions for all whom we serve.
We are currently in the magical time between worlds that was heralded by the Scorpio Solar Eclipse and now without coin for Charon I follow the Sun into the new territory that Sagittarius is pioneering. I know that here in the Southern lands, Spring holds the promise of harvest. In the Autumnal North the bounty is being laid down for the winter months. Though there is much that I am ignorant of, I do know that anything is possible in the New World.