Sometimes I get asked where my writing comes from and how long I ponder it. There is a part of me whispering sweet thoughts and lovely words all the time. Composing their exquisite little explosions in my mind. Often this murmuring happens in that delicious state between sleep and waking. The schedule for my posts is set by the movements in the heavens. Sometimes my mortal self writes down the words and other times it makes breakfast and drives the daughter to public transport. My Mercury Retrograde post rode the bus into Hobart. Isn’t that just like Mercury?
This morning I lay in bed naked, spooning with my sleeping partner. Oh my! My back against his solid chest, my bottom comfortable in the seat he proffers, my thighs weightless against his, my calves hanging from his knees and my feet find rest on his footstools. Bliss! I think of giant stone pharaohs in the warm desert sun sitting on their thrones through the millenniums. Not such a bad fate.
There is nothing calling me to get up. I reflect over the last hectic month. It started with a Libra New Moon, I was happily making connections with others, enjoying being taken out of myself. As the Sun moved into Scorpio and the Moon grew full, the weather got wilder and life became an exhilarating ride. Scorpio likes to know it is alive and by living on the edge, knowing all could soon be finished, makes each breath exquisite. Libra connects us to others via relationships whilst Scorpio merges completely, not knowing where one begins or the other ends.
Mercury is now retrograde and retracing its steps over the path it has trodden since October the 18th and the Moon is waning into Darkness before it eclipses the Sun tomorrow. I find myself reviewing what I have merged with over the years, trying to unpick the seams to discover who I am now.
In Scorpio there is always a release of the redundant or the outgrown. There is much that is completing at this time, some stuff just has to go in order to move forward. Death, transformation, quantum shifts, evolutionary jumps; this is what is demanded of us. Trouble is that standing in this world we cannot grasp what lies ahead. We just have to jump and trust our instincts.
For me, everything is shifting. A week ago my daughter turned 18 and is now legally an adult, or in her words:
I can legally sue someone, adopt a child, change my name, rent a port-a-potty, get a divorce, purchase R rated movies and go to jail. Oh and pubs.
My Scorpio Princess has become a Queen. She is now sitting her final exams and will be free to design her own life, here on in.
In Libra I was so happy being out in the world with others that I began to wonder whether I had satisfied the needs of my introverted self and was free to socialise with ease. Scorpio with its deep emotion disabused me of that notion. I had a period of feeling very space deprived as the moon was waning. I longed for time living alone. I realised that at this juncture with Kafka, all grown up and our home on the market, anything was possible.
John and I entertained the possibility of living apart. We have been together for 34 years, maybe it is time to experience something else. It was amazing to discuss this so calmly. There was no rejection of what is, just consideration of what could be.
Somewhere within me this conversation was taboo. It was a boundary, an inner ring-pass-not. Magically, with this discussion, an inner space opened and I felt completely free. Together we were able to discuss our needs and yearnings more honestly, allowing more to be put on the table. We are unlikely to go our separate ways, still it is good to know that we can be open to anything.
The Sun, Moon and Saturn are currently in Scorpio. Saturn defines the limits of the reality we have agreed to accept in this incarnation. The Uranus square Pluto that defines our current time are urging us to break with pre-existent boundaries. I personally feel like I am standing at the edge of my current life ready to jump off the cliff. I have no idea what lies ahead but I am prepared to embark on the adventure.
Many feel this call for a new world. Tomorrow is the Scorpio New Moon. Normally, the Sun is so bright that the Moon is not visible when they are joined. The seed of the cycle is obscured till it is displayed at the full moon. This time there will be an eclipse where the Moon will overshadow the Sun. This will be visible over much of the east coast and top of Australia as well as across the Pacific to Chile. Whatever we birth tomorrow we are capable of seeing it for a moment when the Sun’s glare is obscured by our lunar satellite.
Mercury has regressed back to the Sagittarius/Scorpio cusp. It is possible that as we stand, hand in hand with the Sun, Moon and Saturn at the edge of the Scorpio abyss that Mercury can relay a message back from our future.
Meanwhile my present moment is exquisite. Gaia is resplendent all around me. My daughter, is still my beautiful daughter and this will never change. I lie in my lover’s arms. This is utopia, the New World is right here. Time may go on but the present is eternal.
Image: My Scorpio Princess, Kafka.